Satisfy my soul

As I stood next to Ethan's crib trying my best to comfort him without food he grabbed onto my index finger with his whole hand and didn't let go until he drifted off to sleep for a while. There is no better feeling than when your little one holds on with all of their might. I was talking to Dale the other day about how I worry Ethan will lose trust in us because we can't feed him when he is hungry, but him holding on reaffirmed his trust and I'm one of the only people he doesn't tense his tummy muscles for.

His nurse just came in and offered to give his tylenol orally instead of through his nose tube..thank God. Ethan just lapped it up, it was banana flavoured. Finally he got more than just a soother since Saturday. I'm going to see if all of his nurses will do that for him...if he can at least get a taste of something every 6 hours that might make him settle better....and as I write this he is closing his eyes and looks so peaceful.

I was looking for quotes about strength tonight in hopes of coming across something to renew my strength to go through this for the second time in less than 3 months and I found a few....

I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.  ~Jewish Proverb


We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.  ~Kenji Miyazawa

When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold.  They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.  ~Barbara Bloom

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.  I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.  ~Mother Teresa

And

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

There are tons to chose from, but these were the ones that spoke to me today. Now that Ethan is sucking his soother and falling asleep to the banana taste in his mouth, I think I will try to get some sleep before he wakes up again.